proud

FINDING PRIDE

I FEEL NOTHING - 

I saw this statement on somebody’s shirt the other day at the gym.  The guy wearing the shirt was very muscular, very fit and reading his shirt hurt my heart. It brought me back in time......

I remember the moment I closed myself off. I remember the moment I knew I had to build an armor. I remember the moment I had to do all I could do to “not feel anything”. 

I was 14, in middle school and rumors started spreading that I was gay. It seemed as if everybody in school was talking about it and I couldn’t understand what I was doing to have people talk that way about me. I never looked at other guys in that way or had a relationship with guys. I always dated girls and did the things guys were “supposed” to do. …..